Sometimes, I’m an idiot.
Well, that’s not true. I’m always an idiot.
But sometimes I end up doing something so incredibly stupid that I have to stop and take stock of my life and my choices.
First I’ll quickly explain what a boo-hole is since it is the subject of my stupidity. A boo-hole is a place where a scare actors hides in a haunted house. They’ll pop out of their boo-hole, scare you, and retreat back into hiding.
You’ve been caught up.
Roughly 99% of my visits to Halloween Horror Nights are started off in a Stay and Scream area. These are places inside the park for people to hang out prior to the start of Halloween Horror Nights and helps them avoid the crush of people at the park entrance.
Another perk is early access to select houses. This has allowed me to get through about 5 hours in one hour.
This year, my friend Meg decided to muster up her courage and attend Halloween Horror Nights for the very first time. She is a big fan of Universal, especially the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and is an annual passholder. When it came to HHN, she had no interest.
Until Stanger Things showed up.
To my surprise, she not only bought a ticket to attend but opted for the Frequent Fear Pass.
Meg decided that the best way to experience Halloween Horror Nights was to tag along with me. I warned her, as I do anyone who tags along with me in a theme park, that my methods may seem insane but I get things done.
That sounds more sinister than it really is. I’m just very A.D.D. when I’m in the parks and I can promise you’ll get your steps in for the day when you’re with me.
It was actually on this particular day that we knocked out half the houses in about 1 hour and 15 minutes and most of that was time spent walking between houses (shout out to the exits of Trick R’ Treat and Seeds of Extinction for being mind-numbingly long).
The only kind of downside to getting into the houses early is you usually don’t have a full cast on hand so you end up missing out on some scares. We repeated a couple houses that night to catch what we missed. It’s always a good time.
Our second house of the night was The Horrors of Blumhouse which features scenes from Happy Death Day and The First Purge.
I am not a fan of this house. We all know my thoughts on The Purge as a house/scare zone and Happy Death Day is LITERALLY the same thing over and over again.
Until Josh makes things interesting.
As the house had just opened there was no line to speak of and the staff was staggering groups into the house. This is actually more fun because you don’t see the scares coming ahead of you.
It’s less fun when you put Josh in front of the group.
We were making our way through the house with no problem until we got to the transition between Happy Death Day and The First Purge.
The room we were in was stupid dark and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out where the hell to go. I froze out of stupidity and then freaked out because I knew we had to keep moving. Despite the glaringly obvious EXIT sign above my head, I made a panic decision and took a hard right.
Right into a damn boo-hole.
Thankfully an empty boo-hole.
I felt around like an idiot, holding on to hope that I had made the right choice, knowing damn well that I had not.
I popped back out of the hole to find the scare actor that belonged in there pointing the proper way to get out.
This turn of events led to our group laughing hysterically through all of The First Purge. Meg, who was going through the house for the first time, couldn’t tell you a damn thing about what the second half of the house was like because she was crying from laughing at me.
I’m fairly certain both the staff and scare actors thought we were a bunch of already drunk idiots.
The reality is that we were just idiots.
The further reality is that I was the only idiot.
I’m now scared to return to that house.
Not because it’s scary.
Because I’m an idiot.